On Getting Older

In less than 12 hours, I’ll be turning 24.

Unlike previous birthdays, I’m not excited. I don’t even want to celebrate. Whatever celebration that I’ll have, its more out of obligation, and not because I really want to celebrate.

For some strange reason, the number 24 scares me. One year until I turn 25, until the real world really starts. And now because I’m 366 days away from when the real world starts, self evaluation has kicked in. I feel worthless, like I have nothing to say for myself.

I’m 23 and what have I done? I’ve lived a fairly mediocre life, obviously incomparable to the life that I want to life inside my head. But since I’m being all honest here, perhaps the things that I’m most disappointed in is the fact that I’m just 23 and I’m as cynical than ever. I no longer believe in the rainbows and unicorns that I used to.

Anyway.. will continue when I get back.

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