Tales of a Cynical Single

Valentines has got to be my least favorite holiday. Aside from the fact that its not really a holiday and we really have to go to work/school on that day, well, its a glaring reminder of the things that I know I don’t have.

Bitterness aside, it commercializes something as pure as love itself. What’s the need for one day wherein prices of flowers spike and restaurants are fully booked, when love can be celebrated everyday, as it ideally should be celebrated?

I’ve been celebrating S.A.D. (Single’s Awareness Day) for 7 years now, and to tell you the truth, it has lost all its novelty. It feels more sad now, really, that after 7 years, I still haven’t found someone. Last year was spent with a pseudo-date (It was the perfect date, mind you. We watched Rent, had dinner at this fancy restaurant, and had drinks at Cuisine. Too bad we had a major fight right after. And too bad he turned out to be a jerk in the end.), which sort of made me feel what it felt like to be part of the other side of the coin, for a change. This year, I will be on a real date. What it feels like, I don’t know.

When you get older, things suddenly lose all its luster. When I was a kid, thoughts of love used to fill me with such excitement and anticipation. Now, it feel more like a chore. Heartbreaks do that to you, or it did this to me at least. It makes you stop thinking of rainbows and unicorns, and makes you think of the reality, of the fact that you just don’t wanna grow old alone. Desperation sinks in, and in effect, more frogs are kissed, and the thought of settling with just some common person instead of Prince Charming becomes more and more appealing.

Don’t get me wrong — at the back of my mind, I still want my Prince Charming. I just know of the reality that not everyone finds her own Prince. Fairytales don’t happen to everyone. In that event, well, a village commoner will have to do.

So tomorrow I’ll be going out with him – the guy I’ve been seeing on and off and on and off again for the past X number of years. There hasn’t been any spark, but who am I to ask for something as good as a spark? He’s nice, stable, hardworking and he loves me (at least I think so.) That should be enough, right?

In the meantime, I posted this on twitter —

I don’t care if I’m single this Valentines. I know my friends love me, and I love them back. πŸ™‚


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