On Love and Loving

For some strange reason I really enjoy watching celebrity weddings on TV. On TV tonight is the John Estrada – Priscilla Meirelles wedding, which I like because one, they’re a Filipino celebrity couple, two, its a destination wedding, and three, its really, really cheesy.

I guess even though I really will not admit this in real life, I really am a girl and I like cheesy things. I used to think being cheesy is a weakness, and to admit that I need love is a weakness. I realize this now and I figured, maybe its time for a paradigm shift. Maybe accepting that I need love will lead love to me.

I always thought that when I don’t ask for things, it’ll come to me. Maybe this time around, I should admit that I need it, but not to the extent of looking desperate, of course. The more open I am, the more it’ll come to me, right?

Plus maybe, I am partially over him, because now the thought of love no longer brings out bitterness in me. Them bitterness was what was was killing me, it kept bringing me back to that very painful moment. Letting go of it means me really starting over and me learning to forgive and trust men again. More than any other time in my life, I feel like now I’m ready to love and be loved, and it feels really, really great.

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