In Limbo

Limbo

noun

in limbo in a state of uncertainty, neglected, up in the air, in abeyance, betwixt and between, not knowing whether one is coming or going (informal) I felt as though I was in limbo.

Collins Thesaurus of the English Language – Complete and Unabridged 2nd Edition. 2002 © HarperCollins Publishers 1995, 2002

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There you go, folks. That’s exactly where I am right now — nowhere.

2012 has been disappointing so far. In fact, I go as far as to say that 40 days into the year, I have more questions than answers, and more problems than I have solutions. This has been brewing inside me for quite a while now, and sooner or later I know I’ll just break down.

The nagging thought in my head right now — I’m 25 and I’m unemployed. I don’t know what I want to do really, and the things that I know I want to do, I can’t because of external factors. I feel so powerless in my own life, that even I can’t trust myself to do anything about it. I’ve run out of belief in myself somehow. It may sound impossible, but yes, that’s exactly how I feel. The sadder thing is that I feel so abandoned going through all this because no one can seem to understand how badly I feel about myself right now.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day. I gotta start motivating myself again, because obviously, its not going to come from anywhere else. I have to start doing things by myself again, because again, even the best people can let you down.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over cause you’re gone

(What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger – Kelly Clarkson)

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