Confessions

I’ve been planning to write again for quite some time now, but couldn’t quite figure out what to write about, and never seem to have the time for it.

Let’s see. It’s 5:10 in the morning and I no longer have plans of sleeping. Class is at 8, and I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I won’t wake up in time. I’ve got roughly an hour to waste, and watching tv might make me sleepy.

It’s these circumstances that made me check your Facebook profile once more. I admit, I do check up on you from time to time. Just to see how you are and what’s going on with you. It gives me a sense of satisfaction that even if its been years, you’re still the same person I knew from before. Even if its just by the photos that you post or even your cryptic status messages, well, my friends are gonna hate me for saying this, but I still feel connected to you in some way. You still like the same things, go to the same restaurants, and are already able to do the things we’ve always talked about doing. Only, I’m no longer the person you’re doing those things with.

I’m glad you were already able to go to Corregidor. And that your tastes haven’t changed, you still go to that Japanese resto we used to go to after work. And you still order the same thing. I’m suprised your fishes are still alive, and that you gave her a dog too. Glad that you’re able to bring her with your family, I admit, I was a bit surprised with that. You still like taking pictures, it makes a lot of sense that you’d be on Instagram.

I’m happy for you, really. You look very happy with your life, happy with her. I no longer feel any animosity, but more of a dull ache seeing as you’re happier than I am. (Well, it seems that you are.) I’ve gone so far away from you already and reached places I never thought I could reach, but why is it that when I think of my happiest times, I still get reminded of you? I am reminded of carefree moments, when we didn’t give a shit about what people thought about us, stolen moments in the middle of the day while everyone else is at work, thinking of the things we wanted to do in life and plotting ways how to get there.

Hey. I’m already in the future we keep talking about. I did it, I’m here. Sucks that I can no longer share everything with you. I wonder if you do the same – check my Facebook? Do you even bother to find out how I am?

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